We Need To Talk About This UFC Fight

I'm starting to get really scared.

Donald Trump has taken things too far this time. In his latest stunt, he’s using the White House lawn to host a UFC cage fight—complete with a 90-foot-tall octagonal arena and vulgar motocross performances featuring riders jumping over Humvees parked on the South Lawn as U.S. Marines in full dress uniform stand at attention.

I am as right-wing as they come, but this is a bridge too far. Our troops should not be used as decorative sentries at an official White House event. These are naïve young men who have been tricked into joining the military to serve as personal slaves of Benjamin Netanyahu. The idea that a 20-year-old U.S. Marine would think cage fighting and dirt bikes are “cool” is, frankly, offensive. And the fact that troops are willing to follow clearly unlawful orders like this only proves that, when the time comes, they will remain loyal to Jewish Imperialism rather than coming to the aid of the George Washington-Hamas Pan-Islamic Alliance like any sensible American Christian from Ohio would.

Also, motorcycles are really loud. I saw one go dangerously fast once, and it was scary and smelled like chemicals. Is this the type of thing we need more of? This variety of sensory terrorism is what bullies like Trump use to command loyalty from his cabinet of lackeys, who seemingly exist only to do whatever he tells them simply because he is literally their boss and they work directly for him as political appointees.

If cabinet officials had any integrity, they would respond to Trump’s directives by resigning and launching podcasts where they complain about their time in politics. This is how we win: by quitting our fake jobs in the Executive Branch and leveraging the power of DraftKings ad reads and SuperBeets referral codes.

As bad as this Illegal Use of Troops (a war crime, btw) is, and as loud as these awful dirt bikes are, nothing compares to the horrors of the actual UFC match. Does Donald Trump really expect Americans to enjoy watching professional fighters punch each other inside a cage?! No great empire in history has ever glorified fighting skill or had a cultural taste for violence, least of all America. Nothing could be less in keeping with American folkways than patriotic spectacles or fighting.

Adding insult to injury, Trump has also ensured that monuments and fountains around D.C. are cleaned and refurbished ahead of the event. This is a psyop to give normies the false impression that our country doesn’t have to be a shithole where Blaxican teens stick chewing gum and Supreme stickers onto the marble of the Lincoln Memorial or wash the Cheeto dust off they hands in the Reflecting Pool. This is stupid. If you clean something, it will just get dirty again. Everyone knows this. Indians dump massive amounts of trash and biological waste into their rivers, and they’re a rising superpower. We have to be smarter than wasting money on childish ideas like clean streets.

I also saw that there will be a bald eagle there doing some type of demonstration. This is a little something that smart people call “bread and circuses,” which is when your government provides some kind of public celebration or entertainment to promote the idea that the place you live is actually good rather than bad. That’s what they want you to think. I would encourage you to think for yourself instead — but I warn you, once you are “red pilled” (like me), you will come to the troubling realization that it’s over, all is lost, nothing good can ever happen, and trying is for retarded people and goy cattle.

I encourage all true right-wing Americans to sit this one out. Put your Electric Jew into airplane mode and read some 18th-century political philosophy tonight instead of tuning into this abhorrent sportsball slop. Loud motorcycles, fireworks, the military, and men beating each other half to death in fighting arenas are for feminized bugmen still trapped inside the HR longhouse. Break the chains, Anon. Escape the matrix by developing a nihilistic affectation where you performatively hate your own country with a bunch of faggots on the internet and spend your time lashing out at the only people who have even remotely made an effort at fixing things in the last 40 years.

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